A lesson on Self Confidence from my client

as you know I really respect my clients work, I rarely share the things that we talk about as I feel they are so personal and its their right to privacy. 

However, I asked if I could share this story with you – as I feel it could really help so many of us. 

Before I delve in, its important to note that this is regarding self confidence or should I say the rise of the lack of. 

The worst thing about this is how sneaky it is. One day you’re walking down the street thinking YES, I GOT THIS! the next day you’re home with the curtains closed questioning your existence. 

Before we really get into this, as a woman we must try to remember and share that our hormones play a huge role in how we feel. The rise and fall of progesterone and estrogen have an impact on sleep, body temperature, energy levels, emotions and change your physically body. So firstly, well done for being a woman and dealing with this month in month out before anything else! 

The second layer to this is that it is now the norm to outsource so much of our confidence to external factors. Social media really can be so triggering (I will be talking all about how I have totally flipped it into a happy place soon on the podcast) Our friends and family can give us advice that maybe is a different concept to what we would do and so we doubt our path. We associate success with numbers – whether its followers or financial and therefore our own self worth is hugely effected by our own perception.

I believe the final layer to this is that people are only ever sharing success stories. (Although this is changing which I love) We are seeing the finished products, not the messy middle, not the grind, the worries, the pitches we don’t win and its REALLY hard to digest. 

Specifically with my client she felt that every decision she made always went wrong. That even when working to a strategy that others have helped her with – she was still under achieving. 

Allow me to share the three questions that I shared during part of our conversation that may help you? 

01. Why keep asking others for approval of your concept?

This was a hard hitting question – and one that we dissected, because behind wanting to be successful she actually didn’t have the confidence to believe in her idea on her own. 

02.What does success actually look like for you?

Leading on from the first question once again her success had been decided for her. When we peeled back the layers and created an understanding we found that success for her was way more freedom in her life which she did not feel she had right now. It was not linked to a financial target.

The beauty of understanding this is that you can then begin to work backwards to create simple steps, that lead to space in your life to achieve it. And if I may toot my own horn here – that really is my area of absolute expertise! 

03. What if you radically made a new decision today without focussing on the outcome?

I cannot tell you how much she loved this question – and rightly so. As my mentor has said something very similar to me before and it’s such an exciting thought. The endless possibility of something new? perhaps a new path to take that could create something in your business you haven’t thought about before? I want you to feel excited about your life because truly there is enough for everyone! 

If this sounds like something you want to expand on, please contact me here so that we can see if we can work together. Until then….

Love, Kirstyx