25 February 2020

2020 is the time to get Specific

I am not your guru, guide or teacher, I am here as a friend sharing lessons and my own experience but one thing I have learnt is that it is time to get specific. 

Too much advice out there is so unattainable and so, for want of a better phrase, wishy washy…. like why not try this kept diet, or intermittent fasting, fasted cardio, a banana diet, silent retreats, HIIT every morning, naked meditation. I don’t know about you but I feel exhausted after reading that list, and I’m a “well-being” professional. The key to a balanced practice – and one that will last, in my opinion is to be really SPECIFIC.

There are five little rules that I live by that help me achieve my specific goals, and they are non-negotiable for me. 

+ Never entertain someone who isn’t making you feel good. Now this one needs a little bit of explaining, this doesn’t mean cutting people out who are going through a hard time and may be a little negative, as that’s way too selfish for me. I mean the person who puts you down, who competes with you, who talks behind your back, who doesn’t support your dreams. Why do you want that in your life? I would rather have a handful of incredible friends who love me to my core than 50 who only know the top layer of me. 

+ Acceptance. I talk about this all the time, but if you dont accept where you are today, how will you grow? how will you learn? take out that pen and paper and write that sh*t down. Sorry but it will be painful, it will be hard but I promise you, you will feel so good afterwards because you know you can start writing those goals down.

+ Get Visual. Who else writes endless notes in endless notebooks not even knowing what day they are from let alone what year?! yea, same babes. I am a completely visual learner, I need to see things to get my thoughts going, yet, heres the thing, do’nt use other peoples images: use your own. Get some sharpies and draw out what your new business could be, or your ideal happy place, even writing down your own inspiration quotes, don’t get side tracked by what other people have already thought of. Create your own live pinterest boards in your house to keep yourself going.

+ Airplane mode is your new bestie. Those double ticks drive me insane, as soon as someone has messaged you on whatsapp you have to reply, because if the ticks go blue and you havent, well then you become this rude person. That is why most evenings now my phone goes on airplane mode if I’m at home. That is my time to spend in the comfort of our home together and enjoy it. Also for those of us who do not sleep throughout the night – hi babes! you won’t see any notifications that drag you into your phone. 

+ Say NO. I did a whole video on this because I couldn’t take it any more. The constant invites and whatsapp groups, events all over London that take an hour to get to, it’s just exhausting. I am self employed and so if I am not focused on my goals, who is? this is about being confident, without being arrogant, which I also wrote about…. and once you master that you can take on anything. 

Well done! you have made it through my non-negotiables…. now let’s get into it. 

Once these settle in, and they take time work out your own specific goal: is it weightloss? is it to try something new once a week? is it to try a new hobby? whatever it is get into that goal, work out the specific and exact steps you need to take to get there. Do not feel shamed that you cannot loose weight IF YOU WANT TO: it is your life! All bodies are beautiful but if you feel thats what you need to make you happy then do it. Work out what step 1 is and build from there. Think of this technique like an upside down triangle, what are all the tiny exact steps I need to take to get there and do them. This way of living is transformative in so many ways and trust me you deserve it, do not ever feel shamed for putting your heart and soul into what you want. Please.

My biggest piece of advice is to ignore most of the advice out there and listen to your mind and where you are at. Social media can be your bestie or your enemy. I have made lots of lovely friends online and I only follow people who inspire me and mainly make me laugh. Anyone promoting constant #ads and #gifted products really shouldn’t be taking up your feed, yes we need to make a living but community over commodity – always remember you are in control of what you see daily so choose wisely. (and if you’re not following me already then come and say hey!)

I cant wait to hear about your journey and if you found this useful?



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